Blog Why can she do it, but I can’t?”

“Why can she do it, but I can’t?”

It’s a question many students have asked themselves. You look around the studio and see someone doing a move that you have been trying to achieve. She makes it look effortless. You try the same move, and somehow your body just doesn’t seem to cooperate.

Then the comparison begins.

She started around the same time as me. Why is she stronger? Why can she invert but I still can’t Maybe I’m just not good at this.

But there is something we often forget:

We see the result, but we don't see the journey behind it.

You don't know how much she has trained

Two students may have joined a class at the same time, but that doesn't mean they have had the same amount of training. One may have attended almost every class. Another may have missed several classes because of work, holidays, family commitments or simply because life got busy. One may practise outside of class. Another may only train during the weekly lesson. One may do strength and conditioning regularly. Another may still be building that foundation.

So when you compare your progress with someone else's, you're often comparing your training journey with only the visible part of theirs.

You don't see the classes they didn't miss.

You don't see the extra practice.

You don't see the strength training.

You don't see the failed attempts.

You don't see how many times they fell out of the move before finally getting it.

You only see the moment when they succeeded.

Time enrolled is not the same as training time

This is something worth remembering.

Two people can both say: “I've been doing pole for one year.”

But their actual training experience may be completely different. One person may have trained almost every week for that entire year. Another may have attended only half the classes. Both have been a student for one year. But they haven't had one year of the same amount of training. And that's okay. Your progress doesn't become less valuable because someone else progressed faster.

Your body has its own starting point

Strength, flexibility, coordination, mobility and body awareness don't develop at exactly the same rate for everyone. Some people naturally have certain physical advantages. Some have previous dance, gymnastics, fitness or sports experience. Some build strength quickly.

Others need more time. And as we move through different stages of life, our bodies can also change. Building strength and learning new physical skills may require more patience and consistency. That doesn't mean you can't improve. It simply means your journey may look different.

Don't turn someone else's achievement into your failure

Someone else's success is not proof that you're falling behind. When another student finally gets her invert, her handspring, her split or a move she's been working on, celebrate with her. Her achievement doesn't take anything away from yours.

Instead of asking:

“Why can she do it but I can't?”

Try asking:

“What can I learn from her?”

And then ask yourself:

“What can I do consistently to get closer to my own goal?”

That question puts the focus back where it belongs — on you.

Give yourself credit too

Maybe you haven't achieved the move yet. But perhaps your grip is stronger than it was three months ago.

Maybe you can hold a position for longer.

Maybe your flexibility has improved.

Maybe you used to be afraid to go upside down, and now you're willing to try.

Maybe a move that once felt impossible now feels almost within reach.

Those are all signs of progress.

Progress isn't always a big, dramatic moment.

Sometimes it's simply being able to do something today that your body couldn't do before.

So the next time you catch yourself thinking:

“Why can she do it but I can't?”

Pause.

You don't know her whole journey.

And she doesn't know yours.

Don't compare your chapter with someone else's highlight.

Keep showing up. Keep learning. Keep building your strength. Keep giving your body time.

And most importantly, give yourself some credit for how far you've already come.

Your progress is yours.

There is no race. There is only your journey. ❤️

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